Helping an Adult Friend on Mother’s Day
After funerals at funeral homes in Rockford, IL, eventually those who’ve lost loved ones move into a new adjusted life without them. The incessant pain of the initial grief melts into a sense of a known loss that rises to the surface of conscious thinking every now and then, but for the most part just simmers in the background of the heart.
However, for adults who’ve lost their mothers, Mother’s Day can bring all that pain and grief back to the surface as they’re reminded once again that their mothers have died. The bond between mothers and their children begins at birth, or, in some cases, at adoption (the bonds are just as strong).
It’s a different bond than the one that children have with fathers, and it only grows stronger with time. As children move into adulthood, the bonds with their mothers, especially for daughters, become ones of friendship as well.
Losing that connection is painful at death. It can often feel as though a part of the adult child has been severed. It can also feel like the world has lost its mooring.
Although this abates to some degree over time, the loss of a mother never really goes away. Mother’s Day is especially difficult because of the commercialization, which means that adult children who’ve lost their mothers are constantly reminded of it in the weeks leading up to this day in May.
There are some ways that we can help our adult friends who’ve lost their mothers on Mother’s Day, and we should take the time to remember them and to reach out to them, even if our mothers are still alive.
One way we can help our adult friends who’ve lost their mothers is to share with them that we’re missing their mothers too. We should say the mother’s name. We can acknowledge that it’s Mother’s Day and we know that a mother is not there and that it’s a rough day for their sons and daughters.
We can share our memories of our adult friends’ mothers if we knew them and tell stories about good times or character traits that really impacted us positively. There is nothing more affirming than to know a mother who has died is missed by other people than her children. Although there may be tears, there will also be appreciation of how much their mother was loved.
Inviting our adult friends who’ve lost their mothers to our homes for our Mother’s Day celebrations is another way that we can help them out. This is especially true if our mothers were close or our adult friends considered our mothers to be “second moms.” Just being included can help ease some of the grief and pain this day can bring.
Don’t try to fix things or cheer your friends up on Mother’s Day if they’re having a really hard time with grief. There is no expiration date on missing a mother and some Mother’s Days are tougher than others, usually for inexplicable reasons. Just be a friend and let them know you’re there for them.
Finally, don’t complain about your family, and especially your mother. While it may be humorous to us, it is not to adult children whose mothers have died, because all they wish is that they had their mother back, even if it’s to complain good-naturedly about.
For more guidance for helping friends on Mother’s Day at funeral homes in Rockford, IL, our compassionate and experienced team at Collins & Stone Funeral Home is here to help. You can visit our funeral home at 128 S 5th Street, Rockford, IL 61104, or you can call us today at (815) 965-1515.